


Things are Different Now

by fanfic814



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angsty Sam, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean, Bottom Sam, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Dry Humping, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Public Hand Jobs, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex, Sibling Incest, Sibling Love, Switch Dean, Switch Sam, Top Dean, Top Sam, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:55:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4105033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic814/pseuds/fanfic814
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean comforts Sam after a series of nightmares.  Things get complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I accidentally deleted this a while back, so if you think you've already read it, you probably have.
> 
> Found I still had a copy on my hard drive, so I uploaded again, but I tweaked some of the chapters a bit.

"Dean?" I cried out, a little more frantically that I would have liked to. I'd had another nightmare. They were becoming so frequent that I tried to avoid sleeping as much as possible, but unfortunately I'd fell asleep reading again.

He was at my door in a matter of seconds. "Sammy? You okay?"

I sat up and nodded silently, squinting as he flicked the light on.

"Another nightmare?" I couldn't find the words to answer. Instead, I tilted my head back toward the ceiling, closed my eyes and sighed. His face softened and he gave me a sympathetic half-smile.

"We've got to figure this shit out. You can't keep on like this, Sammy."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll get up."

"Stay there," he commanded. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned, "You've slept like 4 hours in the past week. You need sleep. Look, I'll stay here with you. I'll wake you if you start having another one."

"You don't need to babysit me, Dean. I'll be fine. Go back to bed."

"Pshh, I've been looking after you all my life. Why would I stop now? Besides, you're always busting my balls when I'm not taking care of myself. Let me hound you for a change."

"I'm fine..."

"Shoosh," he commanded. He grabbed the blankets that I had kicked off in a fit of terror, and with a quick flick of his wrist I was tucked in. "'Night, Sammy." He flipped the light switch and sank into the chair in the corner of my room.

 

Somehow sleep found me again. Unfortunately, so did the nightmares.

"Sam, wake up. Sammy!"

I jolted awake and rolled over, too embarrassed to see the look of concern in his eyes.

Dean sighed and sat down on the bed beside me and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "We'll figure it out, man."

"I know. Just go, Dean," I pleaded.

"Fuck you, little brother," he grinned and lay down, stiffly planting his arms and legs to take up as much space as possible. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You're such a douche."

"I know. But you love me."

I awoke with Dean's arm wrapped possessively around my waist. Holy shit, did I actually sleep? What time was it? The alarm clock on my nightstand flashed 11:36. 11:36 AM? No way. I started to get up but Dean's grip held me tightly. Maybe I could just lay here a few more minutes... I had to admit, it felt pretty good. It was chilly in the bunker but so warm and cozy under the covers. Dean's whiskey-soaked breath hot on my neck was a little weird but it was familiar and comfortable and I before I knew it, I dozed off again.

This time I awoke to a rock-hard erection jabbing into my left butt cheek. "Dude!"

"Whaaa..." Dean opened his eyes and blinked hard, trying to grasp the situation. Then he laughed, "Sorry. Morning wood."

"I know what it is, why is it touching me?!"

"Oh, calm the fuck down. At least I have pants on! Wait...did you actually sleep?"

"Yeah. Really well actually. It's 2:30."

"Holy shit. Feel any better?"

"I will once your cock isn't digging into me."

"Oh right," he laughed again, loosening his grip.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, and I rolled over to face him. "What if these stupid dreams never stop, Dean?"

"They will.  One day at a time, man."

My eyes met his awkwardly and he grimaced, pushing a few stray strands off my face by running his fingers through my hair.

"It'll get better. I promise."

"I hope so."

"It will."  
  
I froze as his finger lightly traced my earlobe and he tussled my hair some more. "Did I ever tell you people touching my hair makes me horny? You might wanna stop that or I'll be the one fighting off morning wood next."

"Mmm, why fight it?"

_...what?_

"You've been under too much stress, Sammy.  Let me take care of you.  What else makes you horny?" The glint in his bright green eyes both frightened and intrigued me. He pulled me in close, his lips nibbling gently at my collarbone.

"Uh, Dean? What are you doing?" I asked, 

"I'm just taking care of my baby brother, alright? Don't make it weird, Sam."

My body suddenly twitched and a voice I didn't recognize as my own yelped in surprise. What the fuck is happening right now? His lips traveled up the side of my neck, all the while running his fingers through my long hair.

"Dean," I urged again, whimpering. _Am I dreaming? Surely I've had dreams like this before. Granted, dreams I would never in a million years admit to..._

"You like that, don't you Sammy-boy?" he growled. 

"Um..."  But I nodded.   _Why am I so goddamn horny right now?_

His hand made it's way to the waistband of my shorts and then suddenly it was inside my boxers. My hand instinctively stopped him just below my belly button. And then his hot breath was on my earlobe again, sucking this time, and I gave in. I let go of his hand and he paused,

"Are you okay with this? I mean, forget all the 'weird' bullshit, just are you okay with this?"

"I...I think so...?"

"How about this?" He reached down to my now throbbing erection and stroked it a few times and my entire body buckled. I moaned awkwardly and he tugged my shorts down to my knees.  "Atta boy," he teased, his grin becoming a self-satisfied smirk. "You need to relax, Sammy.  So I'm gonna get you off," he said matter-of-factly.   And suddenly, my mind went blank. The little voice yelling _'this is so wrong'_ disappeared, and all I could think about was that rough, calloused hand stroking my cock.

It didn't take long; a few minutes in and I was writhing under his touch. His eyes locked on mine as if challenging me to lose it. He was so damn pleased with himself, the arrogant bastard. So when he slid his head down between my legs, my jaw gaped open, completely dumbfounded. It seemed such a submissive position for him to take, and frankly it turned me on. His hot mouth took me in deep and a satisfied laugh escaped my lips. I grabbed the back of his head and held him steady as I pushed into him. He gagged a bit and immediately pulled back.

"Uh-uh, baby boy. I'm running the show here." He blew on my wet cock teasingly.

"Oh god, Dean, please," I was so close.

"Hmm, I don't know. You aren't gonna try to mouth-fuck me again, are you?"

"No! Dean! Just..."

"I'm the boss, Sammy. Don't forget that." His eyes narrowed evilly as he sucked on his index finger.

"Yes Dean, you're the boss. Now just..." And before I had a chance to finish, that finger was up my ass.

"Fuuuuuuck! Dean!" I yelled. Ow. "What the fuck, you asshole?"

"Jesus, just relax Sammy." He gave me a minute to adjust, and then he started moving it.

"Oww. Oh no... Ahhhhh!" _So that's my prostate. Holy shit, it's not that bad. Wait it's... holy fuck. I'm gonna come_. _Right now._ I'm pretty sure my face contorted into a million impossible shapes as I mewled like a goddamn baby. "Dean, I'm gonna..."

He stopped abruptly. "Mmm hmm. But not yet. Who's in charge, Sammy?"

Fuck, he was such a cocky bastard. "C'mon, Dean..." I pleaded.

"Say it, Sammy."

I sighed. "You're in charge."

"Good boy. Now come." He slipped my cock back into his mouth while still finger-fucking my ass. What the hell was happening to me? Every inch of me felt electrified, like I was going to explode. And then... I did. I wish I could say I did so with some dignity, but I came hard, thrashing and whimpering the entire time. I finally collapsed in a drooling, sobbing mass and he was back up at my side, chuckling softly and stroking my hair. He pulled me close as I lay my head on his shoulder, still panting hard, tears streaming down my face. He twined his fingers through the back of my hair possessively, and kissed my forehead.  
  
"Feel better?"

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"...you're such an asshole," I gasped.

"I know. But you love me."


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a few days since it happened, and of course we hadn't talked about it. I wasn't holding my breath either. Getting Dean to talk about anything was nearly impossible. I wasn't even sure how to bring it up, so I just didn't. Instead I wrapped myself up in research and took a few small solo jobs. I couldn't look at him. It wasn't that I was ashamed, it was more that I couldn't look at his face without seeing his mouth wrapped around my cock. And what scared me was - I liked it.  _Shake it off, Sam. Get your shit together._  Easier said than done.

Dean, on the other hand, seemed absolutely fine. I think he was catching on to the fact that I was avoiding him though.  _Ugh. Yeah, we need to talk about this._  I took my laptop down to the main room of the bunker, then went to pour myself a bowl of cereal. I didn't eat much; my stomach was in knots. So I steadied my nerves as best I could with research.

Dean stumbled downstairs an hour later, "Mornin' sunshine," he yawned. I looked up to see him framed in the doorway, mussed hair, wearing nothing but a pair of rumpled blue boxers.

"Hey," I nodded. "I went shopping last night if you're hungry."

"Sweet," he stretched and scratched himself then swaggered off to the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later, drinking from a 2-liter carton of orange juice.

I rolled my eyes. He knew I hated when he drank out of the carton. He just laughed and flashed me that dazzling smile of his. And suddenly I could see why girls fawn over him all the damn time; he can definitely turn on the charm when he needs to.

"So what's the plan today?" he asked, scratching himself again.  _And he can turn it off just as fast, apparently._

I picked up the files that I had been looking through. "Actually... I've got nothin'. Did you get any leads on the Miller case?"

He shook his head. "Just waiting to hear back from Charlie."

I paged through the files I had been looking through, wishing, hoping I had missed something. "Soo... I guess we have nothing to do today."

"I guess not."

I shifted uncomfortably. "Dean, we should talk about..."

"Oh, here we go." He set the carton on the table and clutched his head.

"What?!" I grumbled defensively.

"I knew this was coming. You always do this, Sam!"

"Do what? I haven't even said anything yet!"

"You always need to talk about your  _feelings_. I feel like I'm living in a damn chick flick sometimes."

"Oh well excuse me for not bottling everything up and never dealing with it like you!" It was an awful dig at him, and I immediately regretted it. Thankfully it didn't seem to faze him.

His weary eyes pleaded, "Just let it go, Sam! It wasn't a big deal!"

"Uh, It kinda was, Dean! It was a big deal to me, okay?"

He sighed, picked up his jacket, and started heading towards his bedroom to change, "I've gotta go out."

"Dean, don't..."

"I'll be back later Sam, I just can't do this right now."

I grabbed his arm, "Please don't leave, Dean. Look, I'm kinda feeling vulnerable right now." My eyes welled up a little and I was pretty sure I was flashing what he referred to as 'those damn puppy eyes'.

"Fuck, Sammy..." he sighed and threw his coat back over the chair. I wrapped my arms around him, breathing in his familiar scent; a hint of leather and whiskey lingered from the night before. He was tense. "Look Sam," he started, "I don't know what you want me to say..."

"Nothing, Dean. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I just want to know we're okay."

He sighed deeply. His body relaxed a bit, his arms loosened and encircled me, squeezing me a little too tightly . "Sammy... we're always going to be okay."

"It's just...I was afraid this would make things weird..." He broke my grip and his eyes met mine.

"Well stop making it weird. Dude, it wasn't a big deal. Really."

"I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about it," I blubbered stupidly.

"Over-thinking it, you mean?"

"Well probably, yeah. But also... I just... can't stop thinking about it."

He touched his hand to his forehead in an exasperated gesture, but he was smiling a little. "That's just because you need to get laid, Sammy. How long has it been?"

"Uh..." I stammered.

"Exactly. When was the last time you even rubbed one out?"

"Fuck, Dean!"

"Well?"

I hesitated. "Too long."

"Right. You're wound tighter than a two-dollar watch," he laughed, "You can't go without forever. Plus, let's be honest; I'm kind of a domineering ass when it comes to that kinda stuff. That probably doesn't help."

His ragged voice growling,"Who's In charge, Sammy?" echoed through my head for the third time today. My cheeks flushed at the thought and I laughed weakly. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right. So... we cool?"

I took a deep breath, only somewhat relieved. "Yeah. Of course. We're cool."

He grinned, "Good. Now, I'm going to get dressed and then I'm going out to wax Baby. Wanna come?"

"Sure. I'll help. Find me a rag."

"Rag? Dude. You're not touching my car with some old rag. There's an extra chamois in the trunk..." I zoned out a little as he chattered on happily about the car.

After a few admonishments on how I was 'doing it wrong', Dean finally left me alone on my side of the Impala to wax. I was working, but my mind was in a million places at once.

_Maybe he's right. Maybe I really do just need to get laid. I mean, a blowjob is a blowjob! Of course I'm gonna like it! And it has been a long time. A really long time. Wait. this is still weird, right? But it didn't feel that weird. I mean, it did at first. It's not like we've never seen each other naked. Or slept in the same bed. Cripes, we've been living in tiny, shitty motel rooms for years. You don't exactly get a lot of privacy there. How many times have I accidentally walked in on him jerking off? Or vice versa? This really isn't any more embarrassing than that. And you know Dean - he's so laid back about... sex stuff. It really wasn't a big deal to him. Just a... friendly gesture. Yeah. Next time I'll just... Woah, Sam. Next time? There's not going to be a next time. It was just a one-time thing. It just...happened. It's not going to happen again._

"Sammy!" I jumped, quickly ripped away from my thoughts, turning my attention back to the Impala. "You almost done?  God you're slow.  I've got the rest of the car done already!"

"Yeah. Uh, almost."

_I kind of hope it happens again. Oh my god, I need therapy._


	3. Chapter 3

The lazy day off must have done wonders for my nerves; I awoke with the realization that I'd slept through the night for the first time in weeks. My feet dangled idly over the edge of the bed. I yawned and stretched luxuriously.  _Well this feels good. Maybe we can try this sleep-thing again tonight, huh Sam?_  I rubbed the sleep from my bleary eyes and reached for my phone on the nightstand. 7:45. Dean wouldn't be up until at least 9:30. Maybe I should get up and go for a run.  _But it feels so good to just lay here. Maybe just a little longer._  I sighed contentedly, snuggling my pillow. _Oh hey, morning wood!_ I slid my hand down my pants sleepily, not thinking about anything in particular. Yeah. This is going to be a good day.

I was well, doing my thing (and pretty frantically at that point) when I was startled by a noise. Snoring. Nothing makes you stop jerking it faster than realizing there's someone else in the room with you. I rolled onto my right side hurriedly, my bed making an godawful creaking noise...which in turn woke up Dean, who had been snoring away in the chair across the room.  _Fuck! Too late, I'm coming. Uhh... C'mon Sam, just act nonchalant. He'll never notice. Riiight._

"Morning, Sam," he looked at me questionably, "you okay?"

I managed to keep the noise to a minimum but my breathing was completely ragged, not to mention the occasional gasp. "F...fine." I took a deep breath. "Wha...what are you doing here?"  _There. That wasn't so bad. He'd never know. Except that I'm sweating like crazy. And my cheeks are flushed. And... shit._

"Uh... Did I just catch you mid-orgasm?"

"What? No!"

"Uh huh," he laughed.

I changed the subject quickly. "So what are you doing here?"

"I slept in your chair. You were so quiet last night I got worried. You slept okay though I guess, huh?"

"Yeah, surprisingly."

"Good, let's get some breakfast. We've got work to do today. Charlie texted me a lead last night. It's about a four-hour drive from here. Sounds like a pretty cut-and-dried vengeful spirit." He stood and threw his blanket over the back of the chair. "You wanna shower first or just lay there in your mess?" he smirked, tossing me the box of tissues from my nightstand.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.  _Fuck my life._  "Yeah sure, I'll go first."

After breakfast at the nearest greasy spoon, we loaded up the Impala and hit the road. Dean climbed into the driver's seat, popped some Bad Company into the tape deck, and yelled, "Salt n' burn, baby! Whoo!"

It felt good to be on the road again. Much better than sitting around obsessing over illicit late-night blowjobs like a lovesick teenager. Despite the incident this morning, things were relaxed and normal in the car. Half the time we talked about the case, the other half Dean rocked out while I laughed at him. Yeah. Typical road trip,

As promised, it was a pretty run-of-the-mill vengeful spirit case. I spent a good deal of time at the local library researching the deceased's final resting place while Dean interviewed a few people. We met up again around dinnertime at a small-town burger joint to share our information.

"So Lakeview Cemetary, huh?" Dean asked between bites of his Heart-Attack-on-a-Bun. (I wish I were kidding. That's really what the menu called it.)

"Yeah. Plot 112. Should be pretty easy to find," I handed him a copy of the cemetery layout that I had Xeroxed from a local history book.

"You're a genius, Sammy." He licked the traces of ketchup and grease from his fingers, wiped with his napkin, and took the page from me. "Okay. Well, Ernest Miller, been nice knowin' ya."

I nodded, prodding at my salad thoughtfully. "We should probably find a motel. It's gonna be a late night."

"Yeah. I saw one up the road. Let's go check in and wait for nightfall."

A few hours later, we were crashed out on shitty motel beds, completely exhausted. On the bright side, everything had gone smoothly and without incident. "I hate grave-digging," Dean grumbled.

"Tell me about it," I nodded, "Wouldn't be bad if it didn't take so damn long."  My shoulder and arm muscles whined as I tried to prop myself up to a sitting position. I caught a whiff of myself and wrinkled my nose. "I stink. I'm gonna go shower again."

"I should do that too. If I fall asleep wake me when it's my turn," Dean mumbled drowsily. "Wait, come here!" He was laying sprawled across his bed with one leg hanging over the edge, stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers. I walked over to him questioningly.

"Saaaammy?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"I'm too tired to take my socks off!" he whined. "Take 'em off for meeeee?" He grinned lazily.

"Jesus, Dean," I couldn't help but laugh. "Gimme your foot." I tugged his socks off, balled them up, and tossed them at his face, where they bounced perfectly off his nose. "There you go, your highness."

He was cracking up now. "Thanks Sammaaaay!"

I rolled my eyes and grinned, then headed to the shower. _Ah, I love that crazy bastard._

The hotel shower was cramped, the shower head was barely tall enough for me to fit under, and the water pressure was way too hard, but I didn't care. I closed my eyes and let my head droop down as the warm water pelted my shoulders like a free masseuse. It felt downright heavenly after tonight.

I guess it turned out to be a pretty good day after all. Had a decent road trip with my brother with no arguing. Had some good food, did a job with no complications whatsoever. That's a pretty banner day for the Winchesters.

I scrubbed my head with the cheap motel shampoo and conditioner and rinsed just as the water was starting to turn cold.  _Whoops._  I quickly dried off and wrapped a towel around my waist. Dean was watching some late-night cable show indistinguishable from porn when I came out of the bathroom.

"It's all yours," I motioned. "Better hurry before the hot water runs out."

"Thanks." He flicked the tv off and headed towards the bathroom as I slid my shorts on and crawled into bed.

I heard him squeal as the icy water hit him and I snickered.

"Dammit, Sam!"


	4. Chapter 4

I fell into a fairly dreamless slumber at the motel, and slept until my alarm went off. Two nights of sleep in a row? My body almost didn't know how to respond.

But good things never last.

I hadn't told Dean what my nightmares were about. He'd never asked and I'd never felt like talking about it. Since Dean had been back from Purgatory, I'd been dreaming about losing him again, always in a terrible way that I'm helpless to stop. They're those kind of dreams that linger with you for days because they're so vividly real. I keep thinking about how much they feel like the visions I used to get and it scares the shit out of me. I can't lose him again. I won't.

Back at the bunker once again, I woke up yelling and drenched in sweat, and once again Dean burst through my door like the fucking Terminator, ready for whatever monster was attacking his baby brother.

"I'm fine, Dean! Sorry."  I sat up on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.

"Sammy," his pained eyes looked me over and I looked away.  "You're clearly not fine." He disappeared off to the bathroom and returned with a cool washcloth.  He climbed in bed and sat behind me.  "Scoot back," he instructed, positioning me between his legs.  I leaned back against him.  "I wish there was something I could do."   He pushed my damp hair away from my face and pressed the cloth to my forehead, dabbing up the beads of sweat, flipping it every so often to the cool side. It felt so comforting and good, but I was also having a weird moment of déjà vu. Why did this feel so familiar?

"You can't do anything," I sighed. "I'm just fucked up, Dean."

"You're not fucked up. Well alright, maybe a little. But so am I. We've been through a lot of shit lately. I'd be more worried if we weren't a little fucked up."  He wrapped his arms around me. 

"I guess I can't argue with that. It's just," I exhaled sharply, "I had two good days in a row! Guess I thought maybe it was over."

"Well hey, at least you got a break for a bit. That's a good sign, right? Go back to sleep, Sammy. I'm here now."  
  
I sighed and lay back down, and he snuggled in behind me, alternating stroking my hair and dabbing at my face and neck with the cool cloth.

I was just about to drift off when it hit me; "You used to do this when I was home sick from school."

"Mmm hmm," he mumbled sleepily, "whenever you had a fever." His lips brushed my neck softly. "Night, Sammy."

 

Dean was out almost immediately. He had slid his arm up under my head like a pillow, looping his other arm around my waist, pulling me in close. His warm, familiar breath tickled my ear as he snored. And just like that, all of my thoughts and fears disappeared.

 _Well, except that one._ The one that couldn't stop thinking about the last time he crawled in bed with me.

I closed my eyes and snuggled into him a bit. I don't know why I was surprised when a raging erection rose up to greet me a few minutes later.  _Jesus, Dean. Are you ever not horny?_  I tried to inch away but he had tightened his grip on me when I snuggled in. Oh well. I didn't even care. Dean was here and he was okay, so I just enjoyed the comfort his body heat provided. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and soon I was asleep.

My dreams were different this time. Pleasant, even.

"Sammy, wake up. Wake up, Sam." Dean was shaking my shoulder frantically.

"Nooo..." I groaned.

"Are you okay? You're making these awful groaning noises."

My eyes fluttered open. He was propped on one elbow, looking at me curiously.

As soon as my gaze met his, I felt my face go hot. "I uh, I'm fine." I rolled away from him.

"Another nightmare? What the hell were you dreaming about?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"Well, either you were being attacked or getting laid. I hope for your sake it was the latter."

"Shut up, Dean. I don't want to talk about it."

"Well that answers my question," he laughed. "Alright baby boy. Sorry to have interrupted. Carry on." He put an arm around me again and within a few minutes his breathing was slow and steady again.

 _Baby boy. I tower over him for cripes sake. Just piss on me and mark your territory already, would ya Dean?_    God I hated when he called me that. Or at least I usually did... but this time it sent a shiver up my spine and right into my groin.  _What the ever-loving fuck is wrong with you? You are not having dirty fantasies about your brother, Sam Winchester. Get a hold of yourself._  I sighed, lost in my own thoughts, and I slid a hand down my pants to take care of my...er, problem.

"Uhhhh, Sammy?" He picked his head up, his nose ruffling the hair at the back of my neck which did not help my situation.  _Fuck's sake. I thought he was asleep._

"Sorry," I managed.

"Don't be. So tell me what you were dreaming about."

I laughed nervously. "No."

"C'mon, Sammy! Tell me!" He started tickling me like he did when we were kids. I hated being tickled and he knew it. His fingers grazed the delicate skin on the sides of my ribcage and up into my armpits.

"Dean!" I yelled as we tussled around, trying to squirm away until I nearly fell off the bed. "Fuck! Okay, okay!"

He paused as I caught my breath. "I was dreaming about... the last time..."

"The last time what?" He settled back into a comfortable position behind me, spooning me and lightly rubbing my side as if trying to make up for the tickling onslaught.

"The last time you were in my bed with me."

"Sammy!" he blurted.

"I know! Shut up." I turned to face him and he flashed me a cocky smirk. "Come on, Dean. This is not my finest moment. Maybe you could not, you know, rub it in?

"But you're so damn fun to tease."

"You're such an ass."

He nodded. "I know." We sat there in silence for a few minutes and I rolled onto my back, shielding my face as best I could with the inside of my elbow.

"Soooo... want a hand with that?" He motioned towards my shorts.

Before I could respond, his hands quickly worked to remove them. "Dean!" I gasped.

He paused, "Do you not want my help? I can go if you want to do it yourself?"

 _Ah, fuck. How does one respond to that?_    I think the blood had all rushed from my head down into my groin because I couldn't even think straight. "No. Yes. Um. Well... I mean..."  _God, It's hard to concentrate with your own raging hard-on jerking wildly in front of you._

"Yeah... that's what I thought," he said smugly. Dean pressed his body on top of mine, mashing our mouths together hungrily, sucking, teasing, tasting.  _Well. This is new._

"I love you, Sammy."

"I know you do, Dean. I love you too."

"I mean, this is probably a hundred shades of fucked-up but I don't even care."

I nodded breathlessly as his eyes met mine and felt him fumbling through my night table. He triumphantly produced a bottle of lube. "How did you even know that was there?" I flushed a bit.

"Pshh. I put it in your drawer 6 months ago."

"So that's where it came from..."

"Always looking after you, Sammy." He pulled the foil seal off the top of the tube. "I can't believe you haven't even used it. Do you know how fast I go through this stuff?" He squirted a bit onto his index finger.

"Aw, Dean, no. It feels weird."

"It only feels weird for a minute." He lightly smeared the lube onto me. "Spread for me, baby boy."

Again, those words sent a shiver through me and I took a deep breath. In a second his finger was in my ass again.

"Oww, Fuck, Dean! Why are you so obsessed with... this?" I hissed.

"Because it feels amazing. And a little violating. Mostly I like making you squirm. Bitch." He raised one cocky eyebrow.

"Such an ass. Always have to be the alpha male."

"Oh come on, Sammy. You love it."

 _Shit. I really did._  I moaned, not yet sure if it was from pleasure or pain. I guess it wasn't really painful, just...somewhat uncomfortable? Ohhhhh. _Pleasure. Yeah, definitely pleasure._  My dick twitched in response as he hit that perfect spot. He noticed and grinned, lubed up my dick and began stroking it with his other hand. Once again I almost immediately became a sniveling mess. I'd been with plenty of girls and never got like this during sex; Why do I get so damn emotional when he touches me?

I was shaken from my thoughts as he prodded me with a second finger.  _Oh fuck._  "Dean..."

"Shhh... it's okay. Stop clenching and relax. It'll go in easier."

"Dean..."

"Please?" He started kissing my neck again. "Mmmmm, come on, Sammy," he whispered.

 _Fuck. Why can't I say no to him?_  Sometimes I feel like I'm still a kid, trying so hard for my big brother's approval. I'd do just about anything for him. If this is what Dean wants, this is what his Sammy is going to give him.

"Okay," I gasped raggedly. "Be gentle?"

"Of course." It took a whole lot of coaxing and lube, but he slowly inched it inside me. I yelped in pain at first but he talked me through it. "Shhhh, I know it hurts but it'll be worth it. Trust me?" I nodded. He kissed my cheek and watched my pained expression as he pushed it in a little bit further. "God, I'm sorry Sammy but this is such a turn-on. Holy fuck." I whimpered loudly and he bit his lip. "Shhhh, almost there..." I gasped as it finally went deep inside next to the other finger and he started massaging. I immediately lost it - screaming, moaning, and generally making a total fool of myself. His mouth was on my cock now, urging me on, daring me to come. I held on as long as I could. "Dean, I'm gonna..."

"Mmmm," he smiled and pulled back, then started stroking me with his hand again in short fast strokes. When I came, it was fast and loud and messy. I was bawling like a baby. It spurted all over my chest, the bed, and the headboard. I even managed to get some in my hair. He crawled on top of me, mess be damned, and kissed me softly with that goddamn beautiful mouth of his. His erection dug hard into my hip and I kissed him frantically before falling back on the pillow, panting for breath.

He propped himself on an elbow next to me and stroked my hair. "You're fuckin' adorable when you come," he teased.

"Shut up, Dean." I was still feeling more than a little vulnerable and embarrassed at my obnoxiously loud and sloppy orgasm.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

"No. I mean, it hurt at first. It hurt a lot. But...worth it."

"That's my boy." he grinned.

"I'm such a wuss. What is _wrong_ with me?" I was still shaking and wiping tears from my eyes.

He laughed, "I don't know but _fuck_ , it's so hot. I want to do it again just to watch you thrash."

I rolled my eyes but smiled a little. I was getting sleepy but I really wanted to return the favor. Just as I started to reach for him, he jumped up and headed to the bathroom. I lay there in shock a few minutes trying to comprehend what had just happened. _Was he leaving? Did I do something wrong?_ My paranoid mind was put to rest when he came back, this time with a warm washcloth. "Lie on your back," he commanded. I did, and he gently started cleaning the sticky mess off my chest, then worked his way down. I closed my eyes and smiled. It felt good. _This_ felt good.

"You take such good care of me," I whimpered, certain I was melting into the mattress.

Once finished, he folded the cloth to a clean side. I gently took it from him and started dabbing at the mess on his chest. He smiled. "We should probably just shower. We're both a mess. You wanna go first?"

 _No. I want to stay here and cuddle with you like the big weepy baby that I am._ "Uh, yeah," I stammered. I got up and headed to the bathroom, turning the water on to let it warm up. My legs were like Jell-o and my brain was absolute mush. I took three steps and faltered, clutching the wall to right myself, but somehow made my way to the bathroom. I stepped into the shower and leaned my forehead against the wall, taking a few deep breaths. I needed to process all of this, and I felt like I couldn't even stand up straight. I never heard the door but the next thing I knew, Dean was behind me, soaping up my back.

"You look like you need some help", he laughed.

"I'm wrecked," I admitted weakly, "I can barely walk."

"Let me." I shut my eyes as he tipped my head back towards the shower head. I heard the shampoo bottle and his hands went to work massaging my scalp until my hair was full of thick white lather. Again he tipped my head back and rinsed me. Next came the soapy washcloth, up my neck, and then down my shoulders. A contented little sigh escaped my lips. He slid his soapy hands down my ass and over my cock once more, teasing, then proceeded to soap up my legs. "God your legs are long." As he rinsed me down, I leaned into him, putting my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my chin. "Feel better?"

"Yeah. Much better." It was a comfortable, sweet moment. Of course, it was also the moment my dick decided to betray me. Maybe he won't notice?

"Jesus, Sammy. After all that? One little taste and you're insatiable."

I pulled away from him and ducked my head, embarrassed.

"Your face could not possibly get any redder. Fuck, you are too much when you've just squirted."

I grabbed the washcloth and started soaping his chest, letting my finger caress a nipple as I washed and he positively growled. "Ohhh, you do _not_ want to play that game, baby boy. That's kind of a weakness."

I filed that away for future reference and let my soapy hands slide down over his erection and he drew a sharp breath, his eyes closed as he bit his lip.

"What's wrong?" I asked, teasing. "I'm just washing you, Dean."

"Uh huh..." he narrowed his eyes and I did my best to hide a sloppy grin.

I soaped up his legs, then turned him around to do his back side. My hands lingered over his ass a little longer than they probably should have too, and I teasingly slid a finger between his cheeks. "Don't even think about it," he warned.

I laughed. "Ohhh, so you can do it to me, but..."

"Oh, I can and _will_ do it to you whenever I feel like it," he mock-threatened. "But right now, only I get to do it to me."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't trust me?" I challenged.

"You know that's not true. It's not that I don't trust you. I just have... control issues."

I laughed. "There's the understatement of the year." I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck. Did he just moan? "Dean..." I started.

"Hmmm?"

"Thanks for taking care of me."

"No big deal, Sammy."

"It is." We stood there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes until I was overcome with the urge to nibble at his his earlobe.

"Sammy..." he murmured.

"I love that you take care of me, Dean. But who takes care of you?" I was licking water droplets from his shoulder now, kissing and nibbling a trail up towards his ear. I maneuvered him to face me and started nibbling again at his clavicle before moving on up to kiss those beautiful soft lips.

"What are you doing, Sammy?" He opened his eyes, looking at me breathlessly, as if I had just woken him up from a beautiful daydream. Drops of water clung to his eyelashes, drawing even more attention to those brilliant green eyes.

I steadied myself and knelt down in front of him, dragging my hand coyly down his chest as I did so.

"Sammy, what are you doing? You don't have to..." His voice was loud but quavery this time and it sent a shiver down my spine.

I reached a finger up to his lips, effectively shushing him. "Right now, Dean, I'm taking care of you." _Wait. Is this real? Am I really staring up at a wet, naked Dean, watching steam swirl around his head like a goddamn halo? Holy shit._

His hips shuddered as I took him inside my mouth. "Ohhhh my god," he moaned. I grabbed his hips tightly and held on as he involuntarily bucked a few times. I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, I'd never had a dick in my mouth before, so I was kind of winging it. Still, I reasoned, even a bad blowjob is pretty good. I ran my tongue up the length of his shaft slowly, torturously. When I got to the tip, I flicked my tongue against the underside of the head a few times and he gasped, before sliding the length of him as far into my mouth as I could. I watched his face as he reacted to each little movement and I fell into an awkward rhythm, learning as I went along.

"Ohhhhmygod," Dean moaned loudly, leaning back against the shower wall to steady himself. He started slowly thrusting. Gently at first, but rougher as we went along. He slid his right hand down to caress me, but as he got closer to climax, his fingers wound tighter and tighter into the back of my hair, roughly holding me in place as he fucked my mouth. I clenched onto his ass and let him pump into me over and over until he suddenly paused to realize he might be hurting me.

"Shit, sorry Sammy."

"Shut up, Dean, that was fucking _hot_." I placed his hand onto the back of my head and took him into my mouth hungrily again. The heat of Dean's thick cock in my mouth drove me to an absolute frenzy. I still didn't have any clue what I was doing, I just knew I needed to touch him, feel him, taste him. I _needed_ him. I slid one hand up his stomach, feeling his hard, tight abs twitching in perfect time with his dick. The other hand rubbed wildly everywhere I could; up his inner thigh, down his ass. I fondled his balls and he jumped a little, so I sucked on those too. I could feel them tightening against my tongue. Back to his dick - sucking, licking, stroking frantically. I was in a Dean Winchester-fueled haze and I couldn't get enough of him.

"Sammy," he croaked, "I'm gonna come."

I moaned loudly, but didn't move. I wasn't about to stop until he was writhing inside my mouth.

"Sammy..." he warned. I just kept sucking.

His hand grasped at the back of my hair again and I twitched. _Fuck, I'm gonna come too._ I slid a hand down to stroke myself, willing myself not to come before Dean did. I didn't have to worry. A minute later, he let loose a loud cry.

"Coming...! Sam! I'm going to...!"

I drew him in harder, milking him with my free hand as I sucked. His knees buckled and he started sliding down the shower wall. I managed to keep him in my mouth the whole way down and he thrashed around on the shower floor. I let my lips leave him for only a second, abandoning my own erection to slide a finger into my mouth.

His eyes widened, "Sammyyyyyyy..."

Without a word, I gently slid my finger up his ass, prodding for that perfect spot he had found on me. He squealed. _Bingo_. I quickly slid him back into my mouth just in time. He trembled violently as the orgasm rippled through his body. He was practically bawling now, yelling my name repeatedly as hot salty liquid started spurting down my throat. I willingly swallowed every last drop.

I slid my hand back to my own throbbing erection and came almost immediately. We crashed down in a tangle of limbs and stilled, willing our breathing to go back to normal. He was still whimpering occasionally, and I dragged myself up to rest my body against his. He grabbed me forcefully, wrapping his legs around my waist and started kissing me hard. I noticed his eyes watering as we pulled away.

"Sammy, I..." he was still gasping. The water was still pelting down on us. It was getting foggy and hard to see.

"Shhhh," I leaned into him, close enough for my hair to touch his face. "Don't say anything. I just want to remember you like this." I stroked his cheek, water dripping from my face to his. "Dean Winchester loses control," I teased. We bumped noses and I kissed him gently, running my fingers through his hair.

"Sammy..." he uttered throatily.

I slid down and rested my head on his shoulder, still gripping him tightly. "Yeah, Dean?"

"This may be the happiest I've ever been in my entire life."

I looked up at him and smiled shyly through the hair that kept falling in my eyes. "Me too. You know what would make this better though?"

"What?"

"If the damn water weren't getting cold. My ass is freezing. Literally."

He burst out laughing and we wrestled around for a minute, each trying to get the other one under the now icy spray.

We climbed up off the floor, rinsed ourselves as quickly as possible, and dried off. I was shivering. "C'mon, Sammy. We'll sleep in my room." We stumbled to his room, and climbed under his blankets, not even bothering to put clothes on. I snuggled up into him, sucking up his body heat and slept quietly through the night.


	5. Chapter 5

_Fuck's sake, Sam. Get your head out of your ass._

We were in the middle of Nowheresville, Indiana tracking two rogue werewolves through a corn field and I was making rookie mistakes left and right. Thankfully Dean was on his game because I was nearly useless today. I heard a gunshot from the barn a few hundred yards away and took off running towards the noise, cursing myself up and down. _Goddamnit, Sam. If he's hurt because of your stupidity..._

The barn door opened slowly and I ducked behind a tractor, lining my shot up at the doorway, just in case. Out stumbled a very disheveled Dean, holding his shotgun up victoriously like he was Bruce-fucking-Campbell, I rushed over and hugged him fiercely as he winced.

"You okay?"

"No offense Sammy, but I'll be better after you let go of me," he groaned.

I stepped back to look him over. It was dark, but I could see that he was bleeding from a cut over his left eyebrow, and the front of his t-shirt was torn and soaked in blood.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck. What happened?" I asked, peeling his jacket and shirt off carefully, and then lifting the t-shirt up over his head. Four fairly deep slashes carved their way across his abdomen and he was bleeding pretty intensely. I pressed the tee to his wounds, hoping to stifle the blood flow. "Come on. We gotta get you stitched up quick." I slung his arm over my shoulder and helped him to the car, awkwardly loading him into the passenger seat.

"It's just a flesh wound, Sammy," he said reassuringly.

"I know, but it's still pretty nasty. Fuck, Dean. I'm so sorry," I hit the steering wheel in frustration.

"For what? _You_ didn't go all Wolverine on my ass. And be nice to my car, dammit."

"I was so off today. I don't know what happened," I shook my head furiously. "I made that first mistake and things just spiraled from there. So fucking stupid."

"So it wasn't your finest moment. We all have bad days, Sam. Even me."  He tried to flash that cocky smirk, but winced instead.

"Yeah, well. My bad days get people killed."

"And mine don't?  Shit happens. Stop being so hard on yourself. Even on your worst day, there's no one else I'd rather have on my team, Sammy.  C'mon..." He punched my shoulder affectionately as I fumed.

I put the Impala in park outside our temporary home for the night, and dug for the room key. Dean insisted he could get out of the car on his own this time, so I grabbed the first aid kit out of the trunk and met him inside.

 _I hate surgery nights._ We had the routine down, though. I grabbed Dean a shot glass and a bottle; he filled the glass with whiskey, slammed it, and pounded down four more after that. He lay on the bed now and I began cleaning his wounds, first dabbing away the dried blood with warm water. I cringed when he let loose a string of obscenities and jerked as I doused the cuts with alcohol. _I swear, it physically hurts me to see him in pain sometimes._

Two hours and a bottle of whiskey later, he had four red rows of neat stitches across his stomach. I sighed, and finally allowed my damn hands to shake. I started cleaning up the mess robotically, as I had done way too many times before.

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean slurred, quite obviously drunk out of his mind.

"Yeah..." I nodded absently. I was still feeling guilty, running over all the things I should have done differently in my head.

"Hey! Come here," he motioned to the space on the bed next to him. He may have been wasted, but he could still read me like a book. I was in no place to argue with him today, so I lay down next to him.

"Feelin' sorry for yourself?" he implored.

"Kinda. I just shouldn't have insisted on splitting up." I stammered, "and I shouldn't have..."

"Sam? Shut the fuck up."

He grabbed the front of my shirt gruffly, twisting and pulling me over him until we were face-to-face. "It's not your fault," he growled into my mouth before slamming his lips against mine. I made an involuntary squeaking noise as my mouth opened to allow his tongue access, and he took full advantage, dipping in and out between kisses and teasing his tongue around mine roughly. When he finally let go of my shirt, I backed away panting and feeling absolutely starstruck.

He was fading now, clearly intoxicated and likely worn out from pain so I pulled his blankets up around him, crawled into my own bed, and shut out the light. Of course I was still going to chastise myself. Or at least I would if I could think straight. _Holy fuck. My brother kisses like a goddamn porn star._


	6. Chapter 6

After a restless night of sleep, I awoke feeling sulky, still on a bit of a guilt bender. It was early. Seven a.m. Dean was snoring louder than usual and driving me insane, so I figured I'd go do something useful. Our first aid kit was out of painkillers, and I knew Dean would be hurting when he awoke, judging from the occasional groan he emitted each time he moved. I crawled back into my jeans from the night before, threw on a clean tee and slipped quietly out the door. After stocking up on Tylenol and Gatorade for his impending hangover, I noticed a drive-thru in the distance. I left with a bag of greasy breakfast sandwiches and even managed to charm the girl at the window to heat an apple pie for me.

Dean was awake when I arrived back. He was sitting up gingerly on the bed, looking surly as hell. The crude lines of stitches across his abdomen taunted me and I flinched. Wordlessly, he stood and pulled a clean shirt over his head to cover the gashes along with a fresh pair of jeans.

I silently motioned for him to join me at the tiny table in our room. He obliged with a relieved sigh when I tossed him the painkillers and Gatorade. When I plopped the greasy bag down in front of him though, he perked up considerably.

"You fucking rule, Sammy," he said, tearing into his first sandwich. As he reached into the bag for the second one his eyes puzzled for a minute and then burst into a sloppy huge-ass grin. "How the hell did you get pie this early in the morning?" he exclaimed. I couldn't help but laugh. He was as excited as a kid on Christmas. _Simple pleasures._

"Guess these puppy dog eyes are good for something." I grinned.

"Damn, you're good. Someone's gonna get some tonight!" he winked, mock-elbowing me across the table.

I laughed nervously. _Why am I blushing? Stop grinning like an idiot! And while you're at it, stop thinking about shower blowjobs for cripes sake!_

"Sammy?" You okay?"

I shook my head, torn from the brief daydream that was starting to take shape in my head. "Yeah. Fine."

He squinted skeptically at me. "You've been in la-la-land a lot lately, Sam. What's up with you?"

I fidgeted anxiously. "I don't know." _Awkward silence! Awkward silence! Change the subject!_ "Hey, we'd better start packing. It's gonna be a long drive home." I started fumbling with the dirty clothes on the floor, tossing them into a bag.

"Hey." The scrape of chair legs on the small patch of linoleum made me flinch, but not as badly as the tinge of hurt and anger in his voice. I didn't turn, just continued straightening up. He grabbed me roughly from behind, locking his arms around my chest. and effectively rendering my arms useless.

"Dean!" I yelled, struggling. "Let me go!" He just managed to hold on somehow without saying a word, letting me thrash and tire myself out.  

"You done now?" he asked.

"Asshole," I retorted, slumping defeatedly.

"Talk to me," he growled against my ear. "What is going on with you, Sammy?"

"Please let me go," I begged. He released me and I tumbled clumsily face-first onto the bed, where I lay there panting for a few minutes. Dean quietly sat on the bed next to me and started running his hand through my hair. "Look at me," he said softly. I rolled over reluctantly and met his gaze. "What's wrong, baby boy?"

Guess this was inevitable. I took a deep breath. "I'm so fucked up, Dean. I'm all... confused."

"About what?" he pressed. I couldn't answer. "Is this about the... fooling around again?"

I turned my head away from him.

"You're really a mess, aren't you?," he whispered gently. "What are you so scared of, Sammy?" He paused, suddenly looking a little scared himself. "Is it me? Did I do something to freak you out?"

"No!" I nearly yelled. "I'm not scared... just... confused...I guess," I muttered.

He took a deep breath and lay down next to me. "Come here, Sammy." His voice was warm and husky, and I melted as he pulled me protectively into his arms. "Stop thinking so much," he whispered.

"I'm just...," I sighed for the millionth time in the last ten minutes, "I'm having feelings that I shouldn't be having..."

"What kind of feelings?" he murmured, squeezing me a little tighter, his right hand comfortably ruffling the back of my hair.

"I don't know..." I stammered, "I... I love you, Dean."

"You know I love you too, Sammy," he kissed my forehead tenderly. "Look, maybe things have been a little too intense for you lately. We'll tone it down, okay?"

"No!"

He laughed out loud at my outburst. "Okay, okay! We'll keep giving each other blowjobs! You can give me one right now if you want!" he teased.

I laughed a little, despite myself. "Shut up, Dean."

He nuzzled his head down and rubbed my nose with his, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Whatever it is you're feeling, Sammy, just don't think it's unrequited." He brushed his lips against mine softly, and his teeth grazed my bottom lip, nibbling and pulling at it until my mouth opened to let him in. His tongue sought mine, and I squirmed blissfully, returning the pressure with equal enthusiasm.

He gently pushed me down onto my back, straddling my hips in one fluid motion. Pulling back from our kiss for just a second, he pinned my arms firmly above me on the bed. His mouth started working the tender area between my neck and shoulder, alternating kissing, sucking, and gentle nibbles. I was writhing wildly already, our dicks straining at each other through our jeans. The thrill of having my arms pinned forcefully over my head made everything feel deliciously more intense.

Having clothes on was agonizing, but there was a certain old-school charm to dry-humping. I was gasping and giggling like my 15-year old self the first time a girl rubbed herself on me. But she sure as hell didn't feel like Dean. She was petite, soft, and smooth and smelled faintly of strawberries. Dean was grinding away on top of me all rugged and muscular, smelling of sweat and leather and sex. And she sure as hell couldn't manhandle me like this. He was grinning like the damn Cheshire Cat, watching me wriggle uncontrollably. He ground his hips into mine, rubbing, teasing, urging me on.

"What's wrong, baby boy? You gettin' a little too excited?" he taunted breathily.

"Dean... my pants," I gasped.

"What about them? You aren't gonna come are you?" He was trying hard to stifle a laugh, while increasing the friction between us.

"Unggh. Dean, I'm serious, I'm gonna..."

"Fuck, you're adorable Sammy. If we didn't have checkout in 15 minutes I'd fuck you right here. Just bend you right over that kitchen counter and..."

"Dean!" I whimpered. Aaaand that was all it took. Dean was pressed against my mouth, kissing me hard to muffle my moaning just as someone in the next room started pounding on the wall. _Whoops._

_And, not unlike my 15-year-old self, I just jizzed my pants._

He crashed on top of me, kissing and nibbling at my neck. I was giggling hysterically. When he pulled himself up to give me a final kiss, he quizzically raised an eyebrow. "What happened, Sammy?" he licked his lips, amused. He finally released my arms and I pressed a hand to my face, embarrassed.

"You're... gah!... such a dick."

He cocked his head to one side and shot me a faux look of surprise, "What? Did you say you want to suck my dick?"

I swatted at him. "Psssh. Hell no. Get off me," I laughed, "I have to change."

Except I _did_ want to. So I did. While he drove. Even though at first he yelled something like 'do you know how hard it is to get come out of the interior?' But I persisted.

He gripped the back of my hair with his right hand, pushing my mouth down firmly onto his cock. "Alright then, baby boy. Looks like you're swallowing."


	7. Chapter 7

The bunker might not be ideal, but it's the closest thing to 'home' Dean and I had ever had. The drive was long and tedious and my entire body ached from sitting in the car so long. It was too late to do much when we got in so we picked up a pizza and crashed on the couch watching TV. There was always an easy, comfortable silence between us when we returned home from a job. Aside from pleasantries like, "I'm getting up, do you want another beer?" we didn't talk much, just decompressing from the adrenaline of the hunt and the endless wear of road fatigue. I dozed on and off as Dean watched some 80's movie that I only barely recalled.

"Sammy?" he nudged my shoulder and I jumped.

"Whaat?" I grumbled.

"Why don't you go to bed? You've been in and out for over an hour now." He took the half-full beer from my hand and set it on the coffee table.

"I don't wanna," I yawned, sinking further back into the couch.

"C'mon, Sam. Let's get you go bed."

"Nooo," I whined sleepily, crashing my head into his shoulder. "I'll go to bed when you do."

He laughed softly. "Some things never change."

"What are you talking about?" I mumbled.

"You used to do this when you were a kid, remember? Always used to cry that you wanted to stay up with me, and you always fell asleep on the couch."

The memory came back and I simpered, burying my face in his shoulder. "And you used to have to carry me to bed," I laughed drowsily.

"Every damn time. Don't even think about it, you're a freakin' moose now," he grinned. "Well if you're gonna sleep, at least lay down." He propped his legs up on the table in front of us and I shifted to a semi-fetal position, laying my head on his lap so that I could see the TV. I tilted my head up and watched him for a minute; he was already transfixed on the movie again, occasionally taking a long sip from the beer bottle in his left hand. I turned back towards the TV. My thumb strummed against his knee as he ran his fingers rhythmically through my hair with his free hand.  _This, right here, is heaven._

I startled awake when the TV clicked off. "C'mon Sammy, I need to get some sleep." I sat up only semi-lucid, my head bobbing awkwardly as I tried to keep my eyes open. He stood up and offered me a hand and pulled me up off the couch. I was still a little unsteady on my feet so he slipped himself under my shoulder and helped me stumble to my bedroom. Once there, he stripped off my shirt and helped me out of my jeans, lowered me to the bed and yanked my socks off. "Night, Sam," he kissed me lightly on the jaw. "Night, Dean..." I suddenly stirred, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to bed, it's late," he laughed. "Get some rest." My door clicked closed, and I was suddenly awake, feeling very alone.  I hadn't had a nightmare in a few days, and while it was great to not have night terrors, I ached for the Dean-therapy sessions afterwards.  _Grow up, Sam. I'm really becoming a little too codependent. This can't be healthy._   I was getting way too used to his comforting warmth wrapped around me as I slept. I rolled onto my side and clutched my pillow, staring at the clock. Thirty-two minutes later, my door creaked open.

"Sammy, you awake?" Dean whispered softly.

I pretended to be asleep, somewhat ashamed that I was still awake pouting about having to sleep alone in my own bed. The door closed and it went dark again, but I heard him tiptoeing nearby. Wordlessly, he slipped under the covers behind me, wrapping me safely in his arms. I sighed happily and a chuckle escaped my throat. "You're really becoming codependent you know, Dean."

I felt him smile. "Shut up and go to sleep, Sammy."


	8. Chapter 8

"Sonofabitch. "Look who brought his A-game," Dean nodded approvingly at me, casually wiping the silver dagger he had just yanked from the heart of a shapeshifter.   
  
I surveyed the damage around us. He was covered in blood and dirt and god-knows what else; his shirt tattered and stained but he was thankfully unharmed. Two other shifters lay on the ground bleeding out; one I had killed with a dagger as well, the other I had decapitated.  _Nothing like a good decapitation to make up for acting like a sappy lovesick teen lately_. I glanced down at my chest, drenched in a thick layer of shifter blood, and grimaced. We hadn't planned on chasing down a trio of shapeshifters today but, well, that was our life in a nutshell.

Dean clapped his hand on my shoulder in a congratulatory gesture and steered me toward the car. "Let's go out tonight," he suggested. "I could use a little time out of the house."

"Sure," I agreed, not feeling at all like going out. 'Going out' meant hanging at a bar, something we had done thousands of times. It also generally meant that girls would be throwing themselves at Dean (and sometimes vice-versa), and I couldn't deal with the thought of him fucking some random girl tonight. _Jesus, Sam, what do you think this is, a relationship? Stop acting like a jealous girlfriend. Sigh. Why am I so fucked up?_

After cleaning up and changing in a backwoods gas station bathroom, we headed to the nearest bar we could find. It was a little more upscale than our usual kind of place, but the beer was cheap and the music was loud so we found our way to a corner booth. It was still early evening and the bar wasn't too busy yet, which I was extremely grateful for. Dean walked to the jukebox, and put on some AC/DC, making some ridiculous 'rocking out' gestures at me before wandering over to the bar. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't hide my grin. The grin quickly disappeared though as I watched a gorgeous blonde girl rub up next to him.  _Here we go. If that's not his type, I don't know what is._  I pretended to be examining my hands to hide the fact that I was staring, but I was silently sulking and peeking through my hair. Dean motioned to me and she looked over, nodding before slipping her number into his front shirt pocket. _Why is my stomach lurching?_ He was headed back towards our table now, so I took a deep breath and tried to act nonchalant.

"Here ya go, Sammy," he plunked a glass of whiskey in front of me.

"Thanks." I said, staring at the drink between my hands.

He paused. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I just uh, guess I'm just a little out of it tonight," I lied.

He nodded slowly and downed his drink. "Sorry you had to decapitate that bastard. I know how much you hate doing that. Don't know why they can't all go down easy."

"Yeah, I do hate having to cut their heads off. Especially when they look like people. Freaks me out." Sure, this was typical bar conversation. Well, it was for us.

"Well you did good tonight, little brother," he punched my arm affectionately and I gave him a fake smile.

Just then a waitress came flitting by our table, stopping abruptly to make eyes at Dean. "Well aren't you boys just the cutest thing?" she drawled in a thick southern accent. She was bent down over the table, obviously drawing attention to her large breasts. "Can I get you boys another round?" she asked, gently touching Dean's hand. I slammed back my drink.

"Maybe a few beers," Dean replied, "and some mozzarella sticks."

"Be right back," she smiled, wiggling away.

I rolled my eyes. "Could she be any more obvious?"

"What? I think she's sweet."

I nodded numbly.

"So what do you think about that missing persons case I sent you this morning?" he asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know yet. Might be our thing. Hard to say yet. I think we need to make some phone calls and..." I was talking but I had no idea what was coming out of my mouth. It must have sounded good because Dean nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Well let's start Monday."

"Sure."

Just then our food and drinks came. 'Missy' reached over Dean to set them down, nearly smothering him with her boobs.  _Subtle._  I chewed a mozzarella stick sullenly, watching her as she served other tables.  _Honestly, she's gorgeous. Yeah. I'll be home alone tonight for sure._

"Sammy?" Dean shook me.

"What?" I snapped out of my sulking for a minute.

"I've been talking to you for ten minutes. What's up with you?" he looked me over carefully.

"Nothin' Dean. Guess I'm just not good company tonight." I glanced over just as Missy shot Dean a little wink from the nearby table.

"Ohmygod," he was grinning, but not at Missy. At me. "Sam Winchester, you're jealous."

"Me?" My voice squeaked out much higher than I anticipated. "No I'm not... I mean, jealous of what?" _Smooth, Sam. Really smooth._

"Uh huh..." he teased. "Sammy, nothing's gonna happen. Nothing."

"Why not, Dean. If you want to..."

"Because I don't want to, Sammy," he cut me off.

"But Dean, you don't have to..."

"I don't do anything because I have to. I do things because I want to. "

I glanced away, looking at the clock on the wall, looking at the hideous decor, anything to keep from looking at him.  _Why was this so difficult?_

"Hey," he demanded. "Look at me." I couldn't. So he slid in towards my corner of the booth and tilted my face towards his. "Sammy..."

Just then Missy came to offer us refills. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry," she drawled at Dean. "I didn't realize! I should have known, two gorgeous boys like you coming in together. I am so embarrassed. You make such a sweet couple!"

Dean smiled at her, "No worries, darlin'. Maybe if I weren't so into this big tall hunk of man-meat here..." He caressed my hair, trying hard to stifle a laugh.

"Can't say I blame you, sweetie. He's just adorable! Well hey, can I get you anything else?"

"I think we're good, Missy. Thanks." She dropped our bill on the table, giggled, and strutted away.

"Gimme my coat," Dean raid suddenly.

"Alright. You want to get going?"

"Not yet." He spread the coat over my lap and I looked at him curiously.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Unzip."

"What?!"

"Get your dick out of your pants. Now."

"Dean!"

"Now."

I whimpered nervously and glanced around. No one could really see us from our angle in the corner, but...

"Sammy..." he warned. "If you don't get your dick out of your pants now, I'm going to do it for you."

I was panicked and incredibly turned on at the same time. I tried to be subtle but it turned out to be much more difficult than you'd think. I practically had to stand up to adjust myself, pulling the front of my jeans down awkwardly. But, there it was, quivering away under Dean's jacket.

A dirty, voracious smile crossed his lips. "Good. Now stroke it for me," he whispered, his breath on my ear made me shiver.

"Someone's gonna see me, Dean! Or hear me!" I rasped, breathlessly.

"Well you'd better be quiet about it then." He picked up his beer bottle and licked it suggestively, taunting me.

"God, Dean... " I took a deep breath and slid my hand under the jacket.

"That's not so bad, is it? "

"N...ohhh..." my adrenaline was racing, making each of my senses feel heightened. Every touch lit up my body and I had to struggle to keep quiet.

He sat next to me with a sly smile on his face, just watching me as I tried to keep it under control.

"Faster," he commanded.

I looked up at him, eyes pleading, biting my lip hard to keep quiet. "Shhhh," he reminded me.

My head lolled back a bit as my back arched involuntarily.

He chuckled softly and brought his hand up to cover his mouth, discreetly licking his palm, and suddenly he took over. Except he wasn't quite as careful as I had been. Where I had tried not to go too far, too fast to avoid a loud, messy orgasm, he stroked and teased with reckless abandon. With all the adrenaline coursing through me, I knew this couldn't end well; there was no possible way I could keep quiet. I was moaning softly already as he whispered in my ear, urging me on.

"Dean," I whimpered a little too loudly.

"Yes, Sammy?" He ran his thumb over the tip of my dick, smearing a drop of pre-come around, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"I'm gonna come," I trembled, leaning my head on his shoulder. I really didn't care who saw us at that moment.

"Mmm hmm. But can you do it quietly?" He paused and my body jerked.

"Yes! No! I don't know..." The delicious agony of trying to hold back was too much to take.

He laughed and started stroking again. "Come for me, baby boy," he growled in a low, guttural voice.

So I did. I nuzzled his neck briefly as I buried my face in his shoulder, then bit down hard to muffle the sounds involuntarily flying out of my throat. _Fuck, I'm being way too loud._  My hips jerked forward sharply, knocking the coat off of my lap, where it fell to the floor. I came hard, certain that most of it was hitting the underside of the table.

"Sammy!" Dean laughed. "Shhhhh. Shhhh." My hips jerked once more and I collapsed, slouching into him. He kissed my forehead, then he quickly leaned forward to retrieve the coat, throwing it back over my lap. His eyes sparkled with a mix of amusement and the thrill of nearly getting caught. And something else. Affection, maybe?

Just at that moment, Missy happened by our table. I froze. There I was slouched into Dean's shoulder, looking elegantly disheveled at best. She paused, covering her heart with both hands, "You two are just the cutest!" I smiled at her weakly and she flitted away again.

"Alright," I admitted. "She's kind of sweet."

I slid into my pants as discreetly as possible, paid the tab, and made a quick trip to the bathroom to clean up. I slid into the passenger seat of the Impala to see Dean's signature shit-eating grin staring back at me.

"Whaat?" I asked, suddenly red-faced again.

"Nothing." He grabbed a slip of paper out of his shirt pocket, balled it up and threw it at me. "I love you, you big insecure idiot."


	9. Chapter 9

_Sammy,_  
_Went to check on a lead.   Thought you might want to sleep in._  
_Back soon._  
_Dean_

I set the note back on the table.   _Since when did Dean get up early to do work?_   Shrugging, I decided to do something productive.  I'd been neglecting my workouts lately, so I slipped into my sneakers and a pair of running shorts, put my earbuds in and went for a run.  It was so good to hit the pavement after my brief hiatus.  Sure it felt great on the muscles, but even better, I was able to do a lot of the thinking I'd been avoiding.

When I arrived home, Dean was still nowhere to be found.  I went to my room and stripped off my sweaty clothes, and headed naked to the bathroom. (Because if you're home alone, why wouldn't you walk around naked, dammit?)  After a quick shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and trod back to the bedroom.

 _"If we didn't have checkout in 15 minutes, I'd fuck you right here."_...what the hell was that?  It echoed through my head and I shivered.   _He wasn't serious about that, was he?  I mean, sure it got me off when he said it but that surely wouldn't... fit.  It would hurt like hell.  Gah!  Why am I even thinking about this?  And why am I suddenly hard?_ My eyes glanced at the bedside table. _Well, Dean was still out so..._ Without a second thought, I was digging through the drawer for the lube. The towel slid off and I sprawled spread-eagle across my bed. I squirted some lube on my palm and slowly started stroking myself.   _Okay, so this is nice._    _Dean was right -_   _I don't do this often enough.  Of course I haven't even needed to recently thanks to him.  Mmmm.  Faster._  I was gasping a little now with every outward stroke, legs trembling.

"Hey Sammy! I think I have a lead on..." My door opened abruptly.

"Dean!" I groaned, and not necessarily because he had just walked in either.  I frantically reached for the blanket that just eluded my grip.

He stood there staring at me for what felt like an eternity.  "Sammy," his voice rasped, "go to my bedroom."

 _Holy fuck._ I stood up and walked toward the door, my legs awkward and shaky as he came up behind me to bite little nibbles from my shoulder on up to my neck.  One arm circled around my chest in a crushing stranglehold, the other fondling my dick.  We fumbled our way to his bedroom like that, kissing and touching the entire way .  I was dizzy with confusion and anticipation. When we got to his room, he slammed me hard up against the wall and rubbed his cock against my ass, kissing my neck roughly.

"Fuck, Dean."

"That's the plan, baby boy," his voice rasped.

My eyes widened.  _He didn't really mean... No, he couldn't._

"Dean, we can't..."

"Why not?  Get on the bed, Sammy.  Get on all fours."

I did what I was told.  I can't lie.  I was terrified but excited and crazy-turned on at the same time.

He squirted a giant dollop of lube directly onto me and I jumped at the coldness.  He smirked and plunged a finger deep into me.  This time he was not so gentle and I yelped.  "Dean, slow down."

He blinked and seemed to fall out of a trance.  "Sorry, Sammy.  I just...too excited..."

"It's okay.  Just go easy on me?"

He nodded, working me gently until he could slide in another finger.  His fingers explored me a bit but it was still much rougher than the last time. I let my head hit the pillow below me and bit down on it to muffle my groaning. I heard the cap from the lube click again and his fingers left me. He squirted a long line up his cock and rubbed it, spreading it around.  "You ready, baby boy?"

"I uh... I don't know, Dean."

"What's not to know?"  he was stroking himself now.  I watched him from over my shoulder.

"I'm uh... I'm kind of scared."

"Hey.  Turn over.  Look at me.  What are you scared of?"

I rolled onto my back.  "Of that.  That's way bigger than your fingers!"  I glanced at it.  It was just slightly longer than average but thick...  _that couldn't possibly..._

He laughed.  "It'll fit."

"I want to, I just... It's gonna hurt."

"Yeah.  In a good way.  But just for a bit.  But if you don't want to, it's okay, Sammy."  
  
I whimpered.  "No.  I really, really want to."  
  
  
He grinned and whispered in my ear, "In that case... I want to fuck you, Sammy.  I want to make you scream and convulse and come with me.  I want to fill you so full you won't be able to walk tomorrow. I want you writhing underneath me. I want you yelling my name.  I want you to feel my cock throbbing for you.  I want to make you feel like no one ever has in your life or ever will.  I want to be inside you, Sammy."

 _Holy fucking shit._ I moaned.  "Yessss...  Just... go slow?"

"Of course," he kissed me softly and moved back down between my legs.  His finger slid into me a few more times and then he lifted my legs up over his shoulders and pressed the head up against me.

"Oh god, Dean.  No way it's going in there."

"We're just going to have to make it fit then... Push, Sammy."

I did as best I could, and the very tip slid in. It hurt like a motherfucker. "Dean, I can't..."

"You can," he pushed harder.  "Relax, baby boy.  I'll take care of you, I promise"  It slid in about an inch and my eyes started watering.  "We're in, Sammy.  Worst part is over.  Now, stop fighting it and push."

I did, and it slid in a bit more.  "Gah!" I yelped.  With a quick thrust, he shoved it the rest of the way in.  "Deeeeannn," I cried. I was blubbering like a baby now.  God I hated being so vulnerable in front of him, and this was definitely the most vulnerable I'd ever been in my entire life.

"Shhhh, shhhhh," he comforted.  "Do you want me to stop?"

"...no," I squeaked, surprised by my own voice.

He exhaled sharply, clearly relieved.   "You're okay.  Take a minute.  Try to relax.  It'll get better."  I could tell he was straining so hard to stay still.  "You let me know when you're ready."  He gently lowered my legs and, still inside me, stretched to kiss me.  "It feels so good to be inside you, Sammy," he whispered, "I could die today and be happy."

I felt my eyes watering and I bit my lip.  I was so damn aroused and I was getting all emotional.  I could feel him twitching, fighting to stay as still as possible.  He was so thick, and I was stretched so tight that I was afraid to move.  It hurt, but at the same I was so overwhelmed by him being inside me that... I liked it.  I liked feeling this close to him. I liked... shit, I suddenly almost  _liked_  being vulnerable with him. I  _liked_  the feeling of being scared and having my big brother take care of me. I liked clinging desperately to him, knowing he'd never let me get hurt.  _How fucked up is that?_

"I... okay.  I'm ready," I gasped, not entirely sure that I was.

His glanced at me and grinned like the cat who swallowed the canary. _Whatever Dean wants, Dean gets. And I was more than happy to give it to him._

He held my legs just underneath my knees then slowly slid it almost all the way out and then back in.  "Is that okay?" he asked.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Are you sure?"  He paused to wipe some tears away from my eyes.

"Yessss..." I gasped.

He smiled and started thrusting, slowly at first.  The fullness of him rubbed against my prostate again and again, and I suddenly understood the appeal.  It was a bit like being pleasured and punished at the same time.

"Still okay?" he asked?

I nodded breathlessly.

"Good." He took a deep breath and plunged into me faster, harder.  "Jesus, Sammy, those puppy dog eyes are gonna kill me."

It was feeling pretty damn good now.   I kept my eyes focused on his face, completely getting off on watching him.  He was groaning now, straining and biting his lip. Every so often he'd close his eyes and moan extra loud.  "You feel so good, Sammy.  So..." he groaned, "tight for me."  My own cock was twitching, I strained to keep it under control.  I couldn't come yet.  I wanted to see him lose it first.  It's not often I see Dean looking so out-of-his-mind vulnerable, but the thought of him losing control because of me?   I've been so weepy and sentimental lately that my ego needed it.  I hoped it happened soon though because I couldn't last much longer.  I decided a little dirty talk never hurt.

"Your dick is huge, Dean," I gasped, "So thick.  I'm going to be hurting so much tomorrow."

He whimpered a bit.   _That was more like it._ But then he gritted his teeth and gave it to me harder.   He wasn't about to admit to losing control yet.  Cocky bastard.

Once again, I was thrashing and sobbing like an idiot, but I wasn't going to let him win this time.  "I love how you fuck me," I stammered, "You look so good thrusting into me.  So hot, Dean..."  Dean was a sucker for flattery.

"Oh, Sammy!" he yelped, nearly biting back the words as they came out.  It wouldn't be long now.   _Oh my god, he looks so vulnerable._    _Why is the sight of Dean vulnerable_   _making me want to fuck him?_   _Hard_.   Suddenly, I wanted to do to him what he was doing to me.

"I want you, Dean. I want this.  Every inch of you inside me, every night."  I should have stopped with the dirty talk, but it was pouring out of me now.  Dammit, I wasn't going to make it.  But then again, neither was he.

"Sammy...  I've wanted this for so long..."  And suddenly, he moaned and grabbed my dick, jerking me off while he plowed into me deeper.  I groaned.

"Oh Dean..."

"Come with me, Sammy.  I'm close..."

"Me too."

"Oh fuck!  Fuck!" he yelled and started spasming violently.  "Sammy!" he cried out, gripping me tightly

I was right there with him.  Feeling him twitching and spurting up inside me sent me over the edge.  "Dean!" I yelped, my dick now shooting uncontrollably,  leaving messy streaks all over his stomach and mine. He lowered my legs gently, then pulled out.  I made a ridiculous sound like, "urnnfff" as he did and he laughed.  I'd never seen him beam like that. He dragged his sweaty body up to straddle my hips and leaned down to kiss me. I raised my head up and met him halfway, my hands stroking his back longingly.  His arms encircled me and we tussled around for a few minutes, kissing and giggling, our mouths finally calming to sweet, teasing kisses.  I nibbled his lower lip, and he caressed my hair. He gave my ear a final nuzzle and then rolled off of me.

"You have a filthy fucking  mouth, Sammy!  What the hell?!" he laughed incredulously.

I covered my face with one hand, and hid for a second then laughed nervously.

"What else don't I know about you?" he teased, tracing a line up my stomach.

"I don't usually..." I started, "It's just... I know you get off on it."

He put his head on my shoulder and snuggled into me.  "Sammy, this has been so perfect.  I don't want to let go of you."

"So don't."

"...How are you feeling?"

"A little sore, but good" I laughed.  "Okay, really sore."

"I meant, uh, how are you  _feeling_?"

"Are you asking me to talk about my  _feelings_ , Dean?"

"Never mind."

"I feel..." I took a deep breath, "I don't know.  I'm not stressing out about it anymore."  I felt him smile as he nodded and nibbled kisses along my shoulder.  "I feel like nothing matters but us.  We're not like other people, Dean.  If this is where we find comfort, well fuck everyone else.  I feel  _so_ close to you right now. It scares me a little.  But it's good.    "

"Oh Sammy,  god, I just want to kiss you everywhere," he mumbled, trying his best to do so.

"You're crazy affectionate right now," I teased, running my fingers through his hair.

"Mmm, it's your fault.  Cut me some slack.  You just drained me."

"It's nice," I sighed, kissing his forehead, "Usually I'm the one that gets all mushy on you."

"You get all weepy.  It's adorable.  Do you always cry when you come?"

"Ugh.  Not until recently I guess."

"Just for me, huh?" he winked.

"...yeah."    
  
He purred.

 

We lay in comfortable silence for awhile, him snuggled into my shoulder, my arm around him, stroking his hair.

"This is kind of nice for a change, huh Sammy?"

"Mmm hmm.  If you weren't such a cocky bastard with intimacy issues..."

He laughed.  "Yeah, yeah."

"I had a moment where I almost flipped you.  Lucky you came when you did."

"Flipped me?"

"Mmm hmm. I wanted to fuck you.   _Hard_."

He laughed nervously, "Uhh, I don't think so Sammy."

I feigned offense, "Why not?"

"I just... you know I have problems with not being in control."

"You're not exactly in control now."

"Yeah, well.  This doesn't happen too often for me.  And I wouldn't be so relaxed with anyone else.  You... you're my weakness, Sammy."

"It's mutual, Dean."

He shivered a little and I gripped him a little tighter.  "At least you're thinking about it..."

"What?  No I"m not."

"Okay,"  it was my turn to smirk. "What are you thinking about then?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Because you're hard again."

"Shut up, Sammy."

I stretched languidly and made a guttural yawn and he finally released me.  Well, for a minute at least.  He hooked a leg over mine to spread them, and grabbed my cock.  He sighed.

"What?"

"It's just too fuckin' big."

I couldn't help but laugh a little.  "That's what I said about you."

"Yeah, well, you're a fuckin' moose.  You've got a good two inches on me."

"At least I'm not as thick as you!  ...you scared?" I teased.

"Fucking terrified," he admitted.

I smiled.  "So was I."

"I know Sammy, but..."

"Lay down, Dean."

"Sammy..." he warned.

"Lay down, Dean" I commanded, in a much firmer voice than I had planned.

He did, but he was trembling as he did so. 

"Dean?  I'm not gonna fuck you right now, relax.  I wouldn't hurt you."

He nodded.  "I know. Just... excited."

"Good.  Hand me the lube."  Surprisingly, he did.  "Spread 'em."  He whimpered, but did as he was told.

"Fuck, Sammy, if it were anyone but you..."

"I know.  Thanks for trusting me."  I planted a kiss on his chest. I globbed some lube onto him, and a bit more on my index finger. His eyes got wide again.

"You always look this terrified when you're about to get some?"

"I get some all the time.  This is different."

"No it's not.  Just relax" I started massaging around the area first, gently pushing the tip of my finger into him every so often.  He groaned every time I started to push into him. "Dean," I laughed, "I did this to you once.  And you've done this to yourself before."  He nodded.  "Push a little, remember?  Here we go."  I pushed into him and he pushed back and it slid in with little resistance.   "There you go.  My finger's up your ass, Dean," I laughed, "You survived."  I started massaging him.

He laughed nervously, a bit relieved.  "You're right, this is good, Sammy.  Mmmm."

I grabbed his cock and stroked, and his eyes rolled back in his head for a minute.  Then I dipped my my head down and slipped his cock in my mouth..  "Oh god.  Yeah.  This is  _really_  good."

"Don't know why you were so nervous.  You have a hell of a time not being in the dominant role, don't you?"

"I know..."

I waited until he was close to coming and then I started pushing into him with a second finger.

"Sammy!" he warned.

I started sucking him in and out of my mouth faster and he cried out, so I took that moment to shove it in.  He yelled again, "Sammy!", but this time his voice was ragged and desperate.

"You're okay Dean.  I'm right here.  Sucking your cock... and fingering your ass,"  I teased.

"Sammy, I'm gonna..."

"No you're not.  Not until I shove my cock up that tight little ass of yours."

"Sam!" he gasped, almost laughing at my boldness.  "That's so not gonna fit."

"Mmm, well you're just going to have to make room for me _,_ Dean _._ You can't tell me you haven't thought about it.  Never wondered how it would feel for me to fuck you?  My long hard cock filling you, drilling into you?" I chided.

"Gah.  That filthy fucking mouth, Sammy!"

"I can't help it.  That's what you respond to."  I pointed to his rigid erection again.  "Open this," I handed him the lube.  My fingers were still buried deep inside him and I motioned for him to squirt lube on my free hand.  He did, and I smeared it on myself, taking a few more strokes than necessary.  I caught him watching me, still looking both out-of-his-mind turned on and little bit frightened.  I grinned, and stroked it some more, watching him intently.  He was right.  It  _was_  fun to watch people squirm. I slowly pulled my fingers out as he moaned my name, reaching for me.

"Turn over," I rasped.

"Oh God, Sammy," he breathed.

"Dean," I demanded, "Get on all fours.  I'm going to fuck you,  _now_." I barely recognized the voice coming out of me.   _And when the hell did I become so demanding?_

Dean nodded slowly, completely bewildered, but did what he was told. He was so turned on he was rutting against the mattress now.  I propped his hips up.  "Okay Dean," I smoothed my hands up and down his back in an attempt to relax him then pressed my hips against his ass,  I rubbed it between his cheeks, taunting him a little. Then I grabbed my dick and aligned it and pushed gently.

"Sammyyyy!" he gasped.

"Shhhh.   Try to relax, Dean."  I pushed a little harder and the tip slid in.

"Oh god...uhh... it's not gonna fit Sammy!"

"Should I stop?"

"...No.  But it hurts."

"Yeah, Dean.  I am shoving a big, thick cock up your tight little ass.  It's gonna hurt for a few, but then it's going to feel amazing. You're going to take it  _all_.  Be brave for me, Dean?"  The dirty talk was pouring out of me now. I think I was getting into this dominant role a little too much.  It made me feel kind of weird and dirty but Dean was into it.

"Fuck's sake, Sam!"  he laughed and moaned at the same time.  "I'll try."

"Good boy. Relax for me."

I pushed again and it slid in about halfway. He buried his face in the pillow to muffle his scream.  He was gritting his teeth and sobbing now.   _Dean?  Sobbing?  Why did that make me want to just fuck him harder?  What the hell is wrong with me?_

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing his back, shoulders, whatever I could reach. "Shhhh... I know it hurts at first. Do I need to stop?"

He shook his head 'no', tears streaming down his face.  "Just... don't move for a minute."  I gave him a minute to adapt to the sensation.  "O...okay," he gulped.

I pushed again and it slid all the way in.  His body crumpled beneath me. "Shit, are you okay?"

"I... uh...  I don't know."

"Okay Dean.  That's enough for today."  I started to pull out.

"No!" he yelped. "I want...ohhhhh.  I want to do this with you.  And...oh my god... It hurts but in a good way.  And I'm  _so_  fucking turned on.  I've...ahhh... never seen you so demanding and... ungh... Fuck, it's hot."

"Okay..." I started tentatively, not sure what to do next.

"Just... keep going."

I nodded nervously, and made some tentative little thrusts just to get him used to it first.  Finally, he started moaning happily.

"Ohhhhh my god."

"Better?"

"Yeah.  It's really good now," he tried to laugh but it came out a gasp.

"Okay then, Dean," I grabbed his hips and slammed back into him. He yelped  "I'm going to start fucking you harder now, and you are going to sit there quietly and take it."

"God I love that filthy mouth," he groaned

"Mmmm.  Well maybe i'll use it on your dick later."

"Sammy!" he laughed.

I slid almost all the way out of him and back in as he cried out.  I did it slowly a few more times, then started rhythmically pumping into him.

"I did not expect you to get all submissive on me, Dean.  Not at all."

"Me neither.  Unghhh.   And I'm still not entirely sure I should have," he laughed nervously.  "But I'll try it for you, Sammy.  Speaking of which... unghh... when did you become such a dom?"

I laughed, "You bring it out in me apparently."  I pulled out all the way, then plunged back in and he buckled under me again.  I didn't even give him time to get back up. I fucked him.   _Hard_. My body pinned him to the bed, and I entwined my fingers in his as he clutched frantically at the mattress.

"Sammy," he sobbed. "Fuck!   So good... Right there... Oh my god, I'm gonna come!"

I gave a few more sharp thrusts and I lost it.  My legs shook and the climax hit me. I moaned and thrusted wildly as I started to come inside him.  "Come, Dean," I urged.  He let out a wail and he started climaxing too, soaking the bed with his own come.   I collapsed on top of him, more exhausted than I'd ever been in my entire life, physically, mentally, and emotionally drained.

"Don't leave me, Sammy," he rasped. "Don't ever leave me."

"I'm here, Dean."  I kissed a line up his shoulder to just behind his ear and started to pull out.

"No.  Sammy, stay."

"Well I don't know how long it'll stay there but uh..."

"I don't care.  Just... give me a minute."

"Mmmm, okay Dean," I smiled. He was still pinned under me, his fingers wrapped in mine, gripping hard.  We lay there in a comfortable silence for a while,  I let one of his hands go, and started ruffling his hair.  He was making the sweetest, most content sighing noises.  I'd never seen him so blissful in his entire life.

"What are you thinking?" I asked after a few minutes of quiet.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm not thinking about much.  I just feel... really, really vulnerable and it scares the shit out of me.  And sore.  And still really turned on."

I smiled and kissed him.  "Me too."

"And.. I feel," he mumbled sleepily, "like I should fuck you again.  A lot."

I laughed. "No complaints here."

"Whenever you want, Sammy.  I love feeling this close to you."  He was tearing up again. It was so unbelievably out-of-character for him.

"You're so fucking cute with my dick up your ass," I teased.

"Shut up."

 

A few more minutes passed.  Finally flaccid, I pulled out and tried to roll off of him.

"Nooooo," he groaned. "Sammy, I need you."   _This.  This is exactly what my bruised ego needed.  Just to know I wasn't the only one feeling out-of-control and needy.  Just to know he needed me as much as I needed him._

"Come here," I pulled him on top of me so we were face to face and kissed him.   He was so obviously exhausted. His entire body was heavy and limp.  "You did good, Dean."  I knew how emotionally drained he must be.  He's not one to show much emotion at all and I'd just put him through the emotional wringer.  I could tell he was straining to keep his head up as he kissed me back harder.  I pulled the blanket up over him protectively.  "You should sleep now."  I kissed his forehead and held him close to me, locking our legs together.

"Mmm hmm," he mumbled.    
  
We lay there in silence a few minutes.

"Maybe next time I won't be so damn tight."

"Next time?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, I don't know if I can do that again," he laughed weakly.  "But whatever you want, Sammy," he squeaked, still breathless.  "If you want it, there will be a next time.  You fuckin'  _own_  me."

"Mmmm.  I was finally starting to like being your baby boy though..."

"That's good because I own you too.  You'll always be my baby boy,"  he kissed me roughly.    
  
"Sleep now, Dean.  We'll worry about cleaning up in the morning."

"Okay" he agreed sleepily, kissing my neck.  "I love you, Sammy."

"I love you too, Dean."


End file.
